Sunday, 14 April 2013

Learn To Love The Unloveable

Today I joined in Erin Pizzey's 'Ask Me Anything' on Reddit, & her reply to my question was big enough & wise enough to make me think I would share it here:

Erin, I very much admire your ability to speak to both men & women in a way both of them can hear & relate to, without watering down your intent or dressing it up as something it isn't. Do you have any suggestions as to how others can go about doing this? And also,do you have any thoughts on what the MHRM can do to not end up repeating the mistakes of feminism?
Wasn't Byron the great lover? Lovely poetry. Great lover of women actually. But anyway...

My suggestion is, read my books! Particularly "Prone to Violence" and "This Way To The Revolution." 
My philosophy is that you have to learn to love the unlovable, which is what we are when we have been badly abused as children. And to remember that you can only love people better... there is nothing you can do to help violent and abused people that is punishment, punishment doesn't work, punishment doesn't care and it can't love.

To speak the truth bluntly and openly without offending is hard but if you have processed your anger, and don't let anger by behind your words, but the truth as you see it, and forgive those who get angry and don't let them get your goat, don't insult them, just say the truth that you know, this will help.

For the Men's Human Rights Movement: be true to yourselves, because feminists certainly did not do that. Do not blame women, do not hate, be yourselves, and love one another. I once said to a group of men that "if I asked you to build me a house you'd have it done in 24 hours, but if I asked you to love one another you'd look at me as if I was insane." Learn to love and accept each other. And don't fall into hate and especially competition, you men compete to your own detriment sometimes.

But otherwise cling fiercely to fact not feeling whenever you can.


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