New Gender Studies™ Glossary

Welcome to the exciting , ever-expanding field of ‘New Gender Studies™’. The following is a collection of the newly politically correct terms to be phased in over the next 12 months and in all likelihood mandatory in a university near you sometime in 2015. Please begin substituting these newly correct terms for the old immediately, every time they appear:

Danny DeVito = Feminism
Mashed Potatoes = The Patriarchy
French Tickler = Misogynist
Cornflakes = Privilege
Yellow Cornflakes = Benevolent Sexism
Squirrel = Gender
Red squirrel = Transgender
Badminton = Sexism
Melissa McCarthy = Male
Hitler = Female
Homunculus = Equality
Rubbery = Feminine
Svelte = Masculine
Lube = Intersex
Chocolate = Single Mother
Justin Bieber = Oppression
Tom Cruise = Heterosexual
Bonobo = Lesbian
Charlton Heston = Homosexual
Vigorous Thrusting Motion = Sexual Orientation
Fedora = 18 Inch Dildo

MORE TO COME. SMASH THE MASH.